freckled skies

the longest day of my life.

Tomorrow is the day! I’m so excited to be flying off to Vancouver where I can finally see my sister! It’s been so long since I last saw her, and to think I’ve not visited her there before! I really can’t wait :D

It’s seemed so odd that I wasn’t at work today. It’s a Monday, and usually I’ll be going to work with all those Monday blues but then the day always gets better cause the peeps at Citibank can just make you laugh so much (: Whenever I looked at the clock today, my mind would go, ‘Oh, I would be doing… if I was at work.’

So at 9am, I’d be making my first call.

At 950am, I’d be bugging my BB to go to the toilet with me HAHA.

At 10am, I’d be gobbling down my breakfast and then call for a straight 2 hours, before taking a break, call again and then going for lunch.

Haha I don’t think I need to elaborate on an entire day’s stuff that I do in the office. I’m just so used to the routine already and I miss that place though it’s an office, and offices are supposed to be daft places! (Well, I suppose not the new concept of offices that are trending right now.)

Though I’m only going to Vancouver for now, it feels like I’ve packed for 2 trips cause I had to pack logistics for my Cambodia trip as well. Seeing everything I’ve packed in the last couple days, WELL. It really is quite a lot of stuff.

Anyway, I think I’ll be too excited to fall asleep tonight. Sigh pie, it’s a 20+ hour flight and I wonder how I’ll get used to the jet lag! It’s definitely gonna practically be the longest day of my life cause Vancouver is 15h behind Singapore time. I’ll be gaining more than half a day just by flying there.

But it’ll be fun, and I can’t wait :D 

sunshine in the night sky.

It’s been exactly a week now. I still think of my grandmother constantly especially when I’m at home. At work, I’m surrounded by friends who are so encouraging and cheerful, it’s impossible to be unhappy around them (: I’ve decided, since a week has passed, I’m going to try my best to move on. After all, my grandmother taught me the greatest lesson I could ever learn, and that is to love everyone around me without hesitation. To do this, I need to move on. So! Instead of remembering her in sadness, I’ll remember her with fondness. Instead of crying in the night, I’ll wake up smiling. Instead of feeling lonely in her room, I’ll be comforted knowing that she’s watching over me in heaven.

Normally, I don’t post so much about my feelings on tumblr, or blog about them anywhere. I actually preferred the privacy of my diary, but for this period of time, I just felt like I really needed people to understand what I was going through. I’m very thankful for my friends who had called me and messaged me just to check if I’m alright, to tell me to be brave, and one of my friends, through his message, comforted me and gave me strength during this difficult period of time. Thank you all so much, for brightening up each day which would otherwise have been very dark and gloomy. Each of you is like a sunbeam filtering through the clouds! (:

Today is my last day in Citibank and my lovely colleagues threw me a farewell gathering (: I’m really grateful for this working experience. The people in my department are really nice, and each of them have a very unique personality that it’s no wonder their team is so wonderful! Just being there with them taught me a lot of things, and I treasure these take-away lessons and memories I’ve shared with them.

I did something on my last day which honestly, I did not expect to do. I actually OT-ed! And boy, am I glad I did. Even though it’s my last day, I still could learn new stuff and make new friends from a different department (: and the camaraderie formed so easily even as we were opening letters and sorting them! Somehow, it was just so natural, and I really like that.

It’s been a really great experience! But I do my feelings no justice because I can’t express them in words enough, and that’s like my poverty in words. Well! I don’t know when I’ll post again after this, but it has become quite a habit already. Right now, I’m looking forward to some sleep and my trip to Canada. Though packing will definitely be a hassle!

Goodnight folks. 

Day Five.

I have not felt hungry at all ever since that day. I cannot feel this pleasure in life whereby people ‘live to eat’. It is as if I eat to live, governed by lunch time when  my friends at work eagerly head off for lunch. But still, life is slowly returning to how it was. I feel myself being whirled around, indeed keeping up with the motion rather than going through the motions. 

It’s difficult to fall asleep, despite medicines that are supposed to make me drowsy or the exhaustion from the previous sleepless nights. When I passed by my grandma’s bedroom today, I saw that my helper who slept with my grandma - she chose to sleep on the floor rather than on the now empty bed. She had also switched on the lamp and chose to sleep without turning on the fan, just as how my grandma always had her room. My grandmother whose eyesight was poor always had the light on so she could see better when she woke. She turned off the fan because she got cold easily. Yesterday, my aunts came to clear away my grandmother’s belongings. Her room is so bare now save for the furniture, and the furniture looked lonely. I miss her terribly so.

To live without my grandma in the house is something I’m trying to adapt to. But how do I do that? I honestly don’t know, and it’s harder than I thought.